I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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