so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
that is very illegal...i love you.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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