Pregnant stripper...not hot.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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