ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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