She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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