He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
