hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
