She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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