i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
