look no pants
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize