If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
