just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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