guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
