I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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