Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
