Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
