just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
