You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
