i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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