So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
