I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
PANTIES FOUND
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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