false alarm. still invincible.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
