i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
