The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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