I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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