All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
