Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
