Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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