He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
