found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
