I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
