He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize