Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
