we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize