Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
