This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Bring me that man meat
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
