man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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