Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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