Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Your penis caused this!
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