I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize