i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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