doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
