so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
