the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
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