i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
