was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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