The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
