Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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