his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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