this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
