my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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