Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
