apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
