Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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