You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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