I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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