(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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