Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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