He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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