I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
