If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
