I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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