she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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