I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
