I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Boobs speak an international language.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
