the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
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