yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
