Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
