I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
