do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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