Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
