I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
