i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
