I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
